Tag Archives: new year

New Year’s Resolutions vs Eating Disorder Recovery

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So New Year’s Eve has come and gone, and people are scribbling their new year’s resolutions all over social media and bringing them up in conversation. And if truth be told, it’s boring. It’s boring and it’s pointless, because most people jump simultaneously on the resolutions and diet culture band wagon and publicise their diet/weightloss/health/exercise #goals for 2016, which predictably (and thankfully) are forgotten about a month or so into the year.

For some people, it’s not just boring, it’s anxiety-provoking, and those people are those recovering from a restrictive eating disorder. After knuckling down and recognising and accepting that weight gain is part of the process, as is eating much more, ceasing exercise during recovery and cutting it down in general for life, and eating and regaining a healthy relationship with “fear foods” which generally consist of high fat, high carb, or high sugar foods/food groups, they then have to watch everyone pledge to lose weight, exercise more, and cut down on “unhealthy” foods.

If you are one of those people, it’s going to be hard seeing and hearing about all these new years resolutions that trigger negative thoughts and emotions, and tempt you to engage in the same behaviours that for most would end in the cessation of them, but for you would end in the spiral back down to misery and sickness, and could end in death. It could be an obvious impulse to just say “fuck it” and relapse, or it could come under the manipulative guise of “health” – that eating disorder voice whispering in your ear that going paleo, cutting down on carbs, or hitting the gym would not be a behaviour but just a way to get healthier (Nope. It’s a behaviour. It would be many steps backwards and the path to full relapse). If you are experiencing any of the above difficulties, you need to remember to focus on yourself. Other people’s behaviours should not impact on your own. You know where it would lead you, and it is important to make it your utmost priority to do what is best for you, your recovery, your happiness, and your health. Don’t allow other people’s insecurities and anxieties about their weight and shape influence your own actions. Instead, empathise with them. Know that they are not feeling happy with themselves and hope for their sake that they find a way to accept their bodies as they are naturally and celebrate themselves as beautiful people with beautiful bodies.

Remove toxic relationships or negative people from your life if you are finding a certain person consistently triggering. Unfollow people on social media who are likely to post/continue posting about weightloss, dieting, exercising, or anything else that triggers you as an individual. Talk to the people in your life who try to have conversation with you about their diet or exercise routines or similar, and let them know that it is unhelpful for you. Those who love you and care about you will cease pushing these topics on you. Those that don’t are the toxic, negative people in your life that I mentioned above.

Finally, know that your recovery is mandatory. You need to do what is best for you and your recovery, and that means fighting the negative thoughts and getting rid of any constantly triggering people. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life. Keep working for that, and keep moving forwards. You can do this.

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Christmas and New Year: Anxiety Aftermath

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So Christmas and New Year are finally over. Most people with eating disorders approached the Christmas period with intense fear and have probably left it with intense guilt. And that’s okay and that’s not okay. By that I mean that it is okay to experience those feelings. You are not alone and those feelings are not your fault. What’s not okay is that your eating disorder has control over your life, so keep fighting the war against it, and don’t respond to those negative feelings. You are going to be okay and you can get through this.

If you ate more than you usually would this Christmas, went outside your meal plan, or ate what a normal person would eat over the Christmas period, I can imagine that right now you are feeling extremely stressed, and terrified that you have put on weight or that your body composition will change. And if you have put on weight or your body composition has changed, that’s okay. If you have stayed the same, that’s okay too, but remember that part of recovery is about gaining weight, and along with that does come a changing body.

The guilt of going against those eating disorder rules can be overwhelming, but it is important to remember that this is part of recovery. Going against your eating disorder and doing what you deserve is part of fighting the battle inside your head. Eating whatever you want, whenever you want, is the goal, and so if you were able to do that for a day, or two, or more, or even if you were able to eat a little more than normal, you are making small steps towards achieving that outcome. That is a wonderful thing, however terrible it might feel right now.

Unfortunately, feeling negative feelings and thinking negative thoughts are part of recovery. If it wasn’t, recovery would be pretty easy-going. It’s important to push past that and sit with the feeling of anxiety (and other negative feelings) rather than respond to them. The feeling will pass if you give it time to. You can read my post on anxiety management that may help you sit with anxiety and other negative emotions and thoughts.

You may also be feeling triggered by the people around you, complaining that they have put on weight or have eaten “too much” this Christmas, or need to go on a diet because of that. Please ignore them. They are battling their own insecurities and are looking for reassurance that this is okay and that other people feel the same and that they are not alone. This is really, really sad, and something that no one should have to feel. Enjoying the Christmas food is part of the festivity, and no one should have to feel guilty for it. Know that other people’s worries are not a reflection on you, and you should keep in mind that it is not something positive that they are experiencing, but guilt and anxiety and insecurity. So instead of letting their negativity impact on you, empathise with them, as guilt, anxiety, and insecurity are emotions that you are likely experiencing also (albeit on a much grander scale to those who do not have eating disorders). Keep moving forwards towards your goals. Keep moving forward on your journey towards health and happiness. Keep in mind your motivations, and remember that the way you respond to others only affects you primarily. You can do this. Keep moving forwards.